Have not posted for a while. But given no-one reads this shit, so I can get away with it.
The main reason / excuse is my internet phone connection was cut off. Initially just my phone. Nothing to do with paying for the line - I always pay on time. Indeed, no explanation ever given. Just a combination of probably; 6 phone calls, 1 hour waiting on hold, 3 different excuses (1: It's your phone, buy another one. Eventually I did, but it wasn't that; 2) It's your ISP. Told them that it can't be because initially it was just the phone that wasn't working, 3) Something to do with the local network, which is crap because neighbours phone was working). But suddenly just started working a week later. Magic, I suspect.
But also, I'm getting a bit dis-illusioned with this blog. When I started, I believed I had something interesting to say. Wasn't sure what, but thought on a daily basis stuff would come to me. It kind of does, when you sit there and just start writing. But the prospect isn't attractive. But more importantly I've realised how difficult it is to be interesting when you don't know your audience, you don't want to give away who you are (talk about over-cautious; no-one reads it, so I think I'm pretty safe) and therefore don't want to be specific, and you can't make up your mind whether you want to try and be funny, write a diatribe about society in general or just say what you're up to. I think you have to take a pick and choose a theme to keep consistency and find a niche.
But I don't think this is going to work. Don't get me wrong - I'll keeping posting this rubbish.
What it has taught me is that there isn't a desperate level of interest by people in onland who spend their time endlessly searching for stuff to read and post on it. The opposite is true, I suspect - there's far too much crap out there to separate the wood from the trees. So if I were to start doing the more seriously, you really have to choose your angle, keep true to it, make it sharp, controversial and ensure some guys want to return (either because they like or they like to be offended).
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How Microsoft Ended a Promising Career
Yesterday saw me return to my place of work / house of pain for my belated and delayed leaving do. Stomach turned just approaching the building. The scars run deep.
Interesting to observe the same people in the same environment, but from the outside. Majority of people arrived late and flustered - clearly emerging from another disastrously badly managed meeting. Everyone distracted and pretty keen to get out of there, but hanging around on the off-chance that my boss or I will say something controversial. But boss made a nice speech and I was massively chuffed with the gift.
As an outsider with time to think, I've realised now why I left. And it's all the fault of Microsoft. I'm not going to lay into the company like lots of people do, but just pick up on one design flaw. Specifically that the shortest time a meeting can last in Outlook is 30 mins. Even worse, the default duration is 1 hour. So people set up meetings for 1 hour (how can their meeting be less important / complicated etc. than the 'default'?).
I'd say most meetings I ever attended should have been complete in 15 mins. Because people know they have the full hour, they arrive late, make a helluva lot of small talk, get off the topic etc. But the biggest issue is people don't want to return to their desk (which I'll come onto below); they want to prove their worth because meetings are the only chance they have to demonstrate it, so they raise irrelevant issues or facts to fill time and in general over-complicate the issue at hand. Cue confusion. Cue no decision. Cue fact that when / if a decision is eventually made on the matter either a) it will 'offend' someone because so many counterpoints have been raised or b) It's so compromised and watered down it's not really a decision at all.
In the meantime guys don't want to return to their desks because the people writing emails are doing so only between meetings or after work hours. At these times people are either rushed (cue: email for the sake of it, typically trying to pass problem onto other people, not taking any action to progress conversation forward which is depressing to read in itself) or in a horrific mood (cue: angry email setting off a long unpleasant email conversation, bosses getting copied in, no-one wanting to make decisions because every one's waiting to go off on one, so eventually is generally agreed that a meeting is required, which can't happen for at least a week because every one's diaries are booked out with more meetings). So quick, simple decisions explode into cataclysmic hassles and no decision is made for a month and when it is the blood letting doesn't end.
The cycle is endless and the spiral is downwards. Everyone complains about number of meetings, but there's no incentive to get out of it, really. I saw the problem early on, but in the end I was actually quite happy when my diary was booked back-to-back because it meant I didn't have to actually think or get on with the tough calls, plus I had a genuine excuse not to get on with work.
So Microsoft have caused massive reductions in productivity, pre-mature ageing and stress and bad decisions being made. This was why I left. If they could allow for 15 min meetings and have that as a default, the world would be a happier place.
Interesting to observe the same people in the same environment, but from the outside. Majority of people arrived late and flustered - clearly emerging from another disastrously badly managed meeting. Everyone distracted and pretty keen to get out of there, but hanging around on the off-chance that my boss or I will say something controversial. But boss made a nice speech and I was massively chuffed with the gift.
As an outsider with time to think, I've realised now why I left. And it's all the fault of Microsoft. I'm not going to lay into the company like lots of people do, but just pick up on one design flaw. Specifically that the shortest time a meeting can last in Outlook is 30 mins. Even worse, the default duration is 1 hour. So people set up meetings for 1 hour (how can their meeting be less important / complicated etc. than the 'default'?).
I'd say most meetings I ever attended should have been complete in 15 mins. Because people know they have the full hour, they arrive late, make a helluva lot of small talk, get off the topic etc. But the biggest issue is people don't want to return to their desk (which I'll come onto below); they want to prove their worth because meetings are the only chance they have to demonstrate it, so they raise irrelevant issues or facts to fill time and in general over-complicate the issue at hand. Cue confusion. Cue no decision. Cue fact that when / if a decision is eventually made on the matter either a) it will 'offend' someone because so many counterpoints have been raised or b) It's so compromised and watered down it's not really a decision at all.
In the meantime guys don't want to return to their desks because the people writing emails are doing so only between meetings or after work hours. At these times people are either rushed (cue: email for the sake of it, typically trying to pass problem onto other people, not taking any action to progress conversation forward which is depressing to read in itself) or in a horrific mood (cue: angry email setting off a long unpleasant email conversation, bosses getting copied in, no-one wanting to make decisions because every one's waiting to go off on one, so eventually is generally agreed that a meeting is required, which can't happen for at least a week because every one's diaries are booked out with more meetings). So quick, simple decisions explode into cataclysmic hassles and no decision is made for a month and when it is the blood letting doesn't end.
The cycle is endless and the spiral is downwards. Everyone complains about number of meetings, but there's no incentive to get out of it, really. I saw the problem early on, but in the end I was actually quite happy when my diary was booked back-to-back because it meant I didn't have to actually think or get on with the tough calls, plus I had a genuine excuse not to get on with work.
So Microsoft have caused massive reductions in productivity, pre-mature ageing and stress and bad decisions being made. This was why I left. If they could allow for 15 min meetings and have that as a default, the world would be a happier place.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Quality will out
Schadenfreude is a beautifully ugly thing.
I don't miss work at all. I mean, I still catching myself starting to try and think about work and then get a little jump of lightness when I remember I don't have to ever do that crap again. It used to make me nervous like only children can get nervous just thinking about the stuff on my plate the next day. I guess I'm a bit obsessive and that used to exacerbate it. Fuck I'm glad to be out of there. An apparent addiction to hangovers (for that was my major memory of any socialising), quiet depression and a mid-life crisis of note was staring me in the face.
But back to Schadenfreude. It makes me wish I'm being horrifically missed and imagine the number of times that they've almost called me for help but stopped themselves last minute. Reality is that 'shit fills the space given it' (i.e. my vacuum will be moved into with a sonic boom) and almost certainly with more enthusiasm and freshness than I've been able to donate for some time now. So they're better off. I'm better off. But nonetheless I hope they're hurting.
Schadenfreude is the most under-estimated and most damaging of human emotions. I'm not sure of the exact definition, but for me it's the very worst of jealousy; enjoying another's failure. Measuring yourself relative to others rather than your own happiness/success etc. I have an exceptionally rich seam of it. Like feeling a brief thrill when another country goes into recession or people at work get fired. Symptoms of the same ailment. I shouldn't feel good about it - both are more likely to do harm me than do good to me - but I do. Until I catch myself and react 'appropriately'.
Men get it more than women. Maybe something about being more naturally competitive. But I'm an empathetic bloke, so there must be a battle going on somewhere in my head between the rational and the primeval. There must be a point to it, but perhaps it's the dark side of that which makes us move onwards and upwards - competitiveness, ambition etc.
Last night it struck me I hadn't actually spoken to anyone, rather than those working in shops etc., all day until my wife got home. Hadn't noticed at the time, but it's a curious thing. I don't think I mind it - happy with myself and a little schizophrenia keeps you company - but can see how people go stir fry or agoraphobic.
I don't miss work at all. I mean, I still catching myself starting to try and think about work and then get a little jump of lightness when I remember I don't have to ever do that crap again. It used to make me nervous like only children can get nervous just thinking about the stuff on my plate the next day. I guess I'm a bit obsessive and that used to exacerbate it. Fuck I'm glad to be out of there. An apparent addiction to hangovers (for that was my major memory of any socialising), quiet depression and a mid-life crisis of note was staring me in the face.
But back to Schadenfreude. It makes me wish I'm being horrifically missed and imagine the number of times that they've almost called me for help but stopped themselves last minute. Reality is that 'shit fills the space given it' (i.e. my vacuum will be moved into with a sonic boom) and almost certainly with more enthusiasm and freshness than I've been able to donate for some time now. So they're better off. I'm better off. But nonetheless I hope they're hurting.
Schadenfreude is the most under-estimated and most damaging of human emotions. I'm not sure of the exact definition, but for me it's the very worst of jealousy; enjoying another's failure. Measuring yourself relative to others rather than your own happiness/success etc. I have an exceptionally rich seam of it. Like feeling a brief thrill when another country goes into recession or people at work get fired. Symptoms of the same ailment. I shouldn't feel good about it - both are more likely to do harm me than do good to me - but I do. Until I catch myself and react 'appropriately'.
Men get it more than women. Maybe something about being more naturally competitive. But I'm an empathetic bloke, so there must be a battle going on somewhere in my head between the rational and the primeval. There must be a point to it, but perhaps it's the dark side of that which makes us move onwards and upwards - competitiveness, ambition etc.
Last night it struck me I hadn't actually spoken to anyone, rather than those working in shops etc., all day until my wife got home. Hadn't noticed at the time, but it's a curious thing. I don't think I mind it - happy with myself and a little schizophrenia keeps you company - but can see how people go stir fry or agoraphobic.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Day 2. No response
This morning I eagerly anticipated that my blog would have taken the internet by storm (once the mighty US had woken up and had a nibble at it).
I can not be 100% sure, but the evidence to support this seems limited. Like a politician, there was a big fat 'no comment'. I'll have to look into the Google Analytics story.
However this doesn't dampen my enthusiasm or detract from the experiment. It can take a while for sound to travel. And there's alot of other stuff in the news at the moment. Like Gay Gustav - one quick blow and he's outta' there.
Spent most of the morning driving because I decided one of the luxuries of not working is that I don't have to rush from A to B and get stressed about it. So despite the fact that the dog had eaten the relevant pages of my map, I just decided to head of in the general direction of where my chores took me. Obviously got lost, irate and almost crashed several times. I reckon I'll get used to it. Must be a mind-set. Like when you go on holiday and it takes a few days to settle into the rhythm.
[Fuck that's a weird word to spell - rhythm. Tried about 6 times and never looked right. Tried in Word and it didn't correct it, go tried on Google and they sorted me out. No vowels. Looks Welsh. Don't trust that word.]
Today I start getting fit (must assemble equipment first - perhaps that counts as exercise? it is already getting on). Tomorrow gardening calls. Fuck - I've joked that I've taken early retirement, but have I actually aged 40 years in 2 days? I honestly found myself staring at a bird in a tree today wondering what it's name was (not as in it's christian name but the species name obviously). What? I don't give a left-handed arsehole about birds. Worrying.
I can not be 100% sure, but the evidence to support this seems limited. Like a politician, there was a big fat 'no comment'. I'll have to look into the Google Analytics story.
However this doesn't dampen my enthusiasm or detract from the experiment. It can take a while for sound to travel. And there's alot of other stuff in the news at the moment. Like Gay Gustav - one quick blow and he's outta' there.
Spent most of the morning driving because I decided one of the luxuries of not working is that I don't have to rush from A to B and get stressed about it. So despite the fact that the dog had eaten the relevant pages of my map, I just decided to head of in the general direction of where my chores took me. Obviously got lost, irate and almost crashed several times. I reckon I'll get used to it. Must be a mind-set. Like when you go on holiday and it takes a few days to settle into the rhythm.
[Fuck that's a weird word to spell - rhythm. Tried about 6 times and never looked right. Tried in Word and it didn't correct it, go tried on Google and they sorted me out. No vowels. Looks Welsh. Don't trust that word.]
Today I start getting fit (must assemble equipment first - perhaps that counts as exercise? it is already getting on). Tomorrow gardening calls. Fuck - I've joked that I've taken early retirement, but have I actually aged 40 years in 2 days? I honestly found myself staring at a bird in a tree today wondering what it's name was (not as in it's christian name but the species name obviously). What? I don't give a left-handed arsehole about birds. Worrying.
Monday, September 1, 2008
01.09.08 - Fat Girl Falling
When a girl falls over in a forest and nobody laughs. How do we really know she's fat?
When someone starts a blog and tells no-one about it, does no advertising, gives it an obscure name etc, how do we know he is blogging? Maybe the question is, do 'we' actually care?
So today I start my first ever blog. To call it an experiment is pretentious, but I am curious as to how many curious / bored / lonely / sad (delete as appropriate) fuckers are out there cruising random new websites on the off-chance their clearly mundane lives will be briefly enlightened. I'm sure there are plenty, but will they find the fat girl?
Plus - like every other cock that's online - I reckon I'm not too shabby at writing and it's a good way to get stuff of this repressed chest anyway.
I'm sure that all that will happen is I'll get bored and no-one will read it. But that's fine.
Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me. I resigned my job on Friday. Someone in Africa opting to stop receiving a pay cheque... umm... not sure how sensible, but I've got to find something other than corporate (un) living for the remainder of the decades before I die.
When someone starts a blog and tells no-one about it, does no advertising, gives it an obscure name etc, how do we know he is blogging? Maybe the question is, do 'we' actually care?
So today I start my first ever blog. To call it an experiment is pretentious, but I am curious as to how many curious / bored / lonely / sad (delete as appropriate) fuckers are out there cruising random new websites on the off-chance their clearly mundane lives will be briefly enlightened. I'm sure there are plenty, but will they find the fat girl?
Plus - like every other cock that's online - I reckon I'm not too shabby at writing and it's a good way to get stuff of this repressed chest anyway.
I'm sure that all that will happen is I'll get bored and no-one will read it. But that's fine.
Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me. I resigned my job on Friday. Someone in Africa opting to stop receiving a pay cheque... umm... not sure how sensible, but I've got to find something other than corporate (un) living for the remainder of the decades before I die.
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